In article , Tim Anderson
wrote:
The problem is that Demon's relay servers are something of
a black hole.

Most ISPs seem able to manage to provide mail servers larger than
their own gravitational radius, and all is sunshine and light.

I'd suggest that you've answered your own question: if the
problem is Demon then the solution is not to use Demon.

I second the recommendation that you should move to A&A, who seem
to be at least as clueful as Demon once were.

Cheers,
Daniel.